Airports/Airlines -the things that suck...

If you have been following my very sporadic blogging you will know that I have been doing a lot of traveling lately....As I was walking thru DIA (Denver International Airport)on Friday night I thought for just a moment about how I should seize the "un-expected" extra time and update my blog..Needless to say it didn't happen, but not because I didn't have the best intent but rather as the title of this blog states "Airports/Airlines the things that suck"....So I decided to enlighten all of you with my thoughts on Airports & Airlines...

First and foremost can I say "SECURITY CHECK" bless the lovely TSA folks that have to deal with us impatient travelers that just want to get thru....those of us that just want to by-pass the making sure all liquids, gels, aerosols etc are smaller than 3oz, and making sure ALL of it fits in ONE (yes just one that is all you are allowed) of those cute (note the sarcasm) ziploc bags...no I am not talking the gallon size ones just the regular good ol' sandwich size ziplocs...which is really hard to do. I arrive at security after presenting my boarding pass and drivers license (mind you they look at it look at me look at it look at me) and get some snickerish remarks about the fact that my DL picture shows me w/light brown hair and currently I am blonde! Ok hello just cuz my hair color changed doesn't mean I am a terrorist! Anyhow finally I am at the part where I have to strip down taking off my shoes, belt, bracelet, coat, sweater etc then proceed to dig my laptop out since it has to be in it's own tub...Finally I think I got everything....after taking up 5 bins and a lil round one for the odds and ends....I proceed to walk thru the detector thing that really likes to beep at me...I set it off then you hear loudly "SECURITY CHECK" everyone turns and looks at me..they guide me to a "special" screening area and do further wanding inspection...The wand gets to my lower back and it beeps I say as I said as I walked thru in the first place I have metal in my back...They proceed to wand me several more times before finally letting me go on my way....I know all this jazz is to keep us safe but my heck give me some sort of "hall pass" on screening! And honestly what am I going to do hi-jack the freaking puddle jumper plane??? Holding up my bottle of hair spray and using my tooth brush as a knife??? Ok ya'll have heard enough about security.

Point 2...If I book a round trip NON-STOP flight....that usually means I DO NOT WANT TO STOP! I mean seriously here are my choices from flying out of my cute lil' airport an hour away....There is the ta da 6 am Denver flight and the oh so appealing 2:15ish Denver flight...and last but not least the late fight to guess where???? Denver...Did you notice my choices?? All 1 location Denver..no where else...I don't get frequent flyer miles w/this lovely airline so I really am earning nothing when they decide as we are on the tarmac with no bathroom yes ladies and gents there is NOT a bathroom on the plane...no beverage or snack service to top it off my lil' airport when you go thru security there are no vending machines to buy a drink...So basically for the flight which isn't bad only an hour I am bathroom and drinkless which I guess in theory is a good combo, however when again you are on the tarmac and they say and by the way we are stopping in Alamosa to pick up some more passengers and it is no big deal...I pop up and think in my heat it is a BIG DEAL I did not plan on an extra 1.5 hours so I need a drink I have cotton mouth and I drank 3 cups of coffee before I arrived at the airport since it was only 4 am when I left my house!!!!!!! Of course I have to use the lil' girls room they won't let me get off in Alamosa so I concentrate very hard for the duration to not kill over dead from dehydration or wet the seat I am sitting in.

Point 3 if you are going to call it a crew doesn't it have to be more than 2 people??? "The Crew" Our lovely flight attendant for the trip is none other than the co-pilot...who goes thru some stupid safety information then plays an overhead instruction on how to use our seat cushions as flotation devices...Um HeLLo we are flying over the MOUNTAINS i am thinking if we crash there isn't a way in hell we are going to make a safe water landing...At this point you can't really hear the overhead instructions on how to get out safely because the engines twin propellers are cranking and anyhow I am to distracted to pay attention cuz I sware I see Fred Flinstone running beside the plane getting us up to speed so we can take off....even if i wasn't distracted by Fred I wouldn't be able to understand anyhow since I reach for my ear plugs so i can at least hear myself think...think about the fact that wow I am the only passenger on the plane...or why they made me sit in the back for weight reasons, or why I saw them throw sand bags in the cargo area, wondering if by some crazy insane possibility we do a crash landing into the water and we all know I didn't listen to those instructions.....

Point 4...Delays I know reality is there are always delays, but that being said it is really nerve wracking when you are in the terminal waiting to board and all you hear is flight 5678 is delayed for mechanical reasons, flight 1498 is delayed due to electrical problems. On Friday I sware the entire time I was there not one flight got out on time, including mine which was supposed to depart at 8:56pm when we finally boarded around 10 getting our hopes up only to sit in the freezing damn plane for 30 mins getting de-iced....Mind you they had given us ~15 different times we were supposed to depart by the time we finally did...Seriously just be realistic don't tell me we are going to depart in 10 mins when our plane is not even there yet!!! I guess my point is....don't make it sound better than it really is especially when my poor hubby is standing by waiting to hear from me so he can drive to the airport to get me!!!

Point 5....lost luggage...you probably are wondering why I have all these liquid rules and why I just don't check my bag since they aren't limited in size if you check it...Well it all has to do with the fact that I did check my bag once...and if you recall I only have 1 destination I am not switching planes not going further than Denver yet they managed to loose my luggage??? How in the heck??? I give up so I just plane side at least I know I handed it to the trustworthy co-pilot that is standing next to the plane as I board....Why is he trustworthy? Cuz he is flying w/me and you can bet your bottom dollar if they can't find it when I land I have someone that I KNOW I can yell at....

Needless to say I am sure the TSA and an"un-named airline" employees just love seeing and dealing with me every other week. (I still have a few more trips to make hence the not naming the airline, as I might cause myself some bodily harm who knows maybe they will try and do a safe water landing just to prove that you should listen..

Now that you have all seen the fact that my patience are running a little thin and clearly I would not be a good fit for a job with TSA or the Airline's I will leave you with one last thought.....

Really if this all didn't happen what would I have to complain to all of you about??